A Sitcom Gone Wrong
by mayfair22
Summary: In spite of himself, Dan laughs out a shaky laugh. So, it's not just a sitcom anymore, it's a sitcom gone horribly wrong...Based on the spoilers post 4x18...One shot for now.


_AN-I'm supposed to be studying for upcoming exams but I really wanted to get this across before the next episode. It is based on the promo clips and all the spoilers which have been coming and is sort of my version of a scene which would be nice to see. Plus Eric Van der Woodsen deserves more screen time._

_As for my other story 'Across The Brooklyn Bridge' which I had promised an update long ago, I will have an update for it as soon as I finish with my papers. Also this has not been beta read and has been written in a couple of hours so all mistakes are my own._

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><p>He always assumed that his life was a bit like a daily soap opera and the more time he spent midst the scandals, the hook-ups, the break ups and the occasional imprisonments, the more he was ready to even give it a mid afternoon time slot.<p>

And then he kissed a girl and the said kiss only helped her realize her undying feelings for her ex boyfriend…

So, he is pretty sure it's a situational comedy now.

_Fanfuckingtastic._

Dan groans as he feels someone take the seat next to him. This is not the time he wants to dwell in small talk.

"How much have you had to drink?" the person next to him asks and Dan is slightly relieved to know that it's not a female voice. If it had been Serena, Blair or Charlie herself asking him what the hell had he been thinking hooking up with Serena's cousin, he would probably have lost all the chivalry he thinks he has in him and thrown the drink in his hand at them…

Or not, but he would have done something equally unlike him, like sleeping with the first girl who throws an interested glance at him. Oh! Wait a minute, he has already been there, done that.

And he can't even begin to explain how glad he is to know that it's not Vanessa.

"Eric? My man, what are you doing here?" Dan slurs a bit and it sort of hits him just then that he probably has had a little too much to drink.

Eric signals the bartender to stop serving him and Dan scowls at his step brother and realizes that there is one more person he should apologize to, "I'm sorry about Charlie."

Eric shrugs, his face composed and calm and Dan realizes that Eric is probably the least screwed up out of all of them, "I don't care about Charlie," The younger man says, "but I do care about the amount of alcohol you've filling your stomach with."

"Still…She is technically family." Dan says and knowing what is going to come next as Eric opens his mouth, hurries on, "and please don't say so was Serena because you know that that was different."

Eric smiles, his lips curling slightly upwards, "I was not going to say anything about Serena." he clarifies, "I was going to say that Blair will be 'technically family' as well if you don't do anything about it."

It instantly sobers up Dan, well sort of because the sudden jerk of his head upwards leaves the room spinning a bit, "What are you talking about?"

"Chuck is going to propose to her." Eric says without preamble and for a few seconds Dan thinks that probably his step brother is playing some sort of screwed up prank on him but when he doesn't crack a smile and the fact that Dan knows he isn't the type to do so that it hits him.

"What?" he manages, "but…But I thought the Prince was all set to propose."

"Yes," Eric says nodding his head, "If the Gossip Girl blast about him carrying his family heirloom around is true then yes he probably is but I just overheard Chuck and Nate and looks like it is now all a matter of who proposes first."

In spite of himself, Dan laughs out a shaky laugh.

So, it's not just a sitcom anymore, it's a sitcom gone horribly wrong.

"What can I do about it?"

"Nothing. Everything." Eric supplies, "you can start by telling Blair how you really feel about her."

Dan looks up with a start? Is he getting his blessings from Eric Van der Woodsen? The one person who probably dislikes Blair as much as he does, if not more? But then, Dan hasn't disliked her for a long time now. To put it in terms previously been used, he is definitely _ass backwards crushing_ _on Blair Waldorf_. And if he gets honest enough with himself then he would admit that it isn't even just a crush anymore.

"You do know that I have been helping her with the Prince." Dan offers and wonders if it sounds as pathetic to Eric as it does in his head. His promise to Blair that he would help her find her Prince even if it wasn't him or Chuck had gone drastically awkward when Blair had come waltzing into the same coffee shop where he had decided to take refuge in.

"_What are you doing here Humphrey?"_ She had been annoyed as usual at his sight and he had wondered how the one place he was sure he would not run into Blair Waldorf turned out to be the exact place he runs into Blair Waldorf. It turned out that the down town coffee shop had also been her harbor of not being seen by anyone from The UES. Good thing then that he lived in Brooklyn.

And since then when he had caught her on her date with royalty himself, he had reluctantly been roped into playing her sidekick on her plan to be the next Kate Middleton.

And…

He looks at Eric who is looking at him with a touch of impatience, "you would rather see her go off to Paris then be here with Chuck?"

Dan takes in the question and tries to answer it in all honesty; what was better? Seeing Blair live her royal dream knowing that means he would probably be seeing her once in a blue moon or having to see her everyday…By the side of Chuck Bass.

"I want her to be happy." He says sincerely and then because he is still drunk and because he is trying to be honest about it all, he continues, "She doesn't want me Eric. I would rather let her make her own choices than be the one who gets in her way of happiness. She deserves to be happy."

Eric shakes his head and Dan doesn't know if it's in pity or understanding, "C'mon then. I should get you back to the loft."

"It's fine." Dan says, "I can go by myself."

"You're much too drunk to stand brother; I doubt you'll even be able to get your door open."

"Then I'll bunk at the couch at Lily's place."

"Yeah, about that. I don't think Serena wants to see you at home right now."

Oh God. Serena.

"I really am sorry about Charlie," Dan says again as Eric holds him up, "I wasn't thinking. I seldom do."

Eric laughs, "it's okay. As far as I'm concerned, it goes both ways. Sleeping with Charlie is probably as much as her problem as much as it's yours."

Dan looks at him seriously, "you don't think I over stepped some line?"

"Look around you Dan. This is The UES, they are no lines here."

Dan throws his arms around the other man, "God, I think I love you Eric."

Eric chuckles, detangling himself from Dan's arms to only hold him up again as he stumbles some more, "Even though I do swing that way Dan. You're really not my type."

"I know. I know. I'm nobody's type." Dan mumbles, making Eric look at him in alarm, "You more than like her." He says as if just coming to that conclusion, "I think you're in love with her."

"What? With who?" Dan says, "You? Noooo. I was just kidding man."

"I mean Blair, Dan." And the look of alarm on his face would have been hilarious if Dan hadn't been so drunk, "Don't be ridiculous. I'm not in love with her. I'm a Labrador."

"What? Never mind," Eric says deciding that it wasn't his place or the right time to probe the subject further, "let's just get you back to Brooklyn."

"Yes, back to Brooklyn," Dan repeats, "did you know that Blair likes the gourmet pizza from the corner shop, even though she'll never admit to it? Did you also know that once she slept on my shoulder and that is when I knew that she does smell very nice?..."

This is news to Eric and even though he'll admit that he had known that Dan had definite feelings for Blair he had had no clue that they ran so deep or that the two had been spending so much time together. At the loft no less.

"…Did you also know that when Chuck had told me that our kiss had been life changing to Blair, I had been ecstatic and right now I just think that it may have changed my life as well…"

As Dan continues to mumble drunkenly, Eric knows that even though Dan may not remember anything the next morning, this was a lot for Eric to take in.

Dan Humphrey was head over heels in love with Blair Waldorf.

The whole triangle just got way messier…

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><p><em>AN-I plan to leave it just here, because I don't know which way the writers are going to go, but even though I was disappointed with the previous episode, I kind of like the idea of Dan helping Blair with her Prince secret (especially if it involves them kissing again) BUT I will be very disappointed if the writers don't do something good about Dair ultimately.<em>

_So, I'm not continuing right now but if the finale is very very disappointing then I might do an update to it. Just so that at least we Dair fans can be happy in our make belief lands. Please review. They make writing just so much more fun._


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